Whod you bang
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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