Apparently you make a good broom.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
