Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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