In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
a search helicopter?!
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
