Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
