Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
