No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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