try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
