i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My vagina is very pro this idea
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
