Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
