what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
