I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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