dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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