i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
