he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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