I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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