he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
