why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
