And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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