I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
