Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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