I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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