eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
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