Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
