Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
