Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We don't watch enough power rangers
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
