ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
