Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
