Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
