Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
