I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We need to get me chipped asap
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize