Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
