So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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