The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
