Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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