I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
