nut hugger
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
