Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
