dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize