I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
