I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize