Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
