standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have feelings that need drinking.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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