whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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