Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
