I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
