I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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