someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
