I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
