Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
