like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
they're like a gay fantastic four
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
