Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
