how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
