Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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