there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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