I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
