i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
