She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
