It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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