Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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