I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
