Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
