Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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