I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
