We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
