You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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