is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Someone shattered a urinal.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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