Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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