a queef is a wish your heart makes.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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