Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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