Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You have to summon your inner elephant
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
