I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
