You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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