If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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